One of Two
What freedom do we have to harm ourselves? Do we have the right to prioritize others over ourselves or put our lives in danger? Are we even good judges of what danger we face?
And what right do we have to hurt those around us? Should we sequester ourselves or medicate our emotions or actions away to protect those who may not be able to protect themselves?
Questions without answers. Except the constant answer that we have the right to make mistakes and the right to feel our way forward using our deepest desires as much as our highest thoughts.
You have the right but also the responsibility to not waste that right by becoming confused by the lies we tell ourselves; the lies that our darknesses tell us.
So what do we owe ourselves and those we care for? Nothing less than honesty and nothing more than what is safe. We can give of ourselves only that which we have to give and it is dishonest to give more than is safe. If we give to an extent that makes us vulnerable, that is righteous, but to give to a level that makes us less likely to give tomorrow is unfair to ourselves and unfair to those we care for and care about.
Support. Having it and giving it is the way away from being exploited by those we care about and by ourselves.
Control, fear, anger, hurt, loss, importance. Betrayal only happens if you have extended your vulnerability and been hurt.
One is fighting herself for control of her emotions of her future and of her willingness to try. The other is fighting herself to stay vulnerable after being so thoroughly hurt and marginalized. Brought to fight wolves and abandoned to fight on her own. But this isn't a single action, this is an emotion and emotions change with new experience. And these new experiences are not pre-destined, they are potentials, some easy and harsh some rare but beautiful. The potentials exist to be actuated through fear, worry, bravery and courage. There is nothing definite except that the current beliefs will be validated or challenged based on new experiences and we control those new realities.
The common is to wait, to react, to accept, and to alter our expectations. To act with purpose and to fight for a preferred future is not modeled and is not common. It is a brave existence without a set of models. We aren't shown the way and aren't guaranteed success. But what we are guaranteed is a position in the process and a right to own the outcome. Future does not happen to us, it is made by us.